One night, Hubby and I went to dinner after the bar one night in China. We sat out on the street at a folding table, laughing,drinking, and eating wonderful Chinese food. Later, I had to pee. I was pointed towards the bathroom.. and the photos above are what I came upon. A squat toilet (which is almost always the case)... right alongside the produce pantry.

GAG.

So busy... so busy.

Geez. It seems like I just don't have enough time in the day, lately! My posts are few and far between.

Well, I've turned a corner. This past monday I weighed in at 209 lbs. After hitting a low of 198, I'm done creeping up. I've been good this past week - lots of fruit, veggies, brown rice, lean protein. I'm hoping for a better weight this coming monday!

Today is a family day. Dinner at Mom's... for Father's Day. My dad lives in Chicago, and visits every month or so (he and my mom are still great friends). So I'm doing Father's Day a week late. Lil' sister is making steak and red potatoes. I am bringing bread and salad w/all the fixin's. Hopefully I'll behave!

Sundays are turning into date days. I like it. Hubby said we could each pick 2 things to do tomorrow. He chose a walk on the nature center paths, and an episode of our favorite show, Babylon 5. I chose dinner and movie, so the day can just keep giving! I'm trying to find a new restaurant with healthy fare.

I'm leaning towards ethiopian though, because I'm craving me some lentils. *wink*

Anyway, I've gotta chop salad veggies. Have a fabulous weekend. And behave!

Perfect Weekend. Perfect.

Saturday, Hubby worked all day. I cleaned up a storm. It's so therapeutic sometimes - wiping down baseboards, sweeping hard wood, polishing hardware... the stuff that doesn't get done often, you know? My place looked brand spankin' new! (well, except that the house is 80 years old).
Saturday night, Hubby went to a brewery/pub with his dad and bro for Father's Day. Me and the sister-in-law sat on my couch, chatted, and... yes... watched Little Women. The Winona Ryder version. GEEZ I love that movie. It's my very favorite.
Sunday was Date Day. We've been so busy, and decided it was time for a day together. We took a road trip to a zoo an hour and a half away. They have baby giraffes! So cute. We wandered the zoo, and nature paths. I'm betting at least 3 miles altogether? We also ate out. I wasn't so good there. But I think with the walking and lunch, it was a wash. We drove home and went to see the new Karate Kid movie. It takes place in Beijing. Hubby and I both had tears in our eyes at certain points..when the kids do their morning exercises, when it showed a shot of the Forbidden City from a spot we stood, seeing the kids running and playing, and speaking in Chinese.
I used to think Chinese was a really harsh language... not fluid and pretty like French or Italian. I love it now, though. The tones are so interesting to listen to. It even sounds pretty!
Today I behaved myself food-wise. I need to... because I'm up to 209 lbs. Eek. Here is what I ate today...

oats
almonds
strawberries
carrots
broccoli
cilantro hummus
cherries
brown rice
stir fry (carrots, cabbage, chickpeas, snap peas, peas)

I may just treat myself to a piece of the banana bread my mom gave me today....

Anyway, life is good. I'm watching Babylon 5, petting my kitten, and relaxing. aaahhhh.

Drooling... drooling...

These are amazing, no? The lil' baby oranges are true, grown-in-my-city Mandarin oranges during my time in China. You have never tasted an orange until you've tasted these. The peel comes off in one easy flick, and the juice is just HEAVENLY.

And that spiky torture device? That's a rambutan. I don't know how to explain the taste, unless you've had a longan before... I guess it may taste similar to a lychee? You peel it and the spiky skin comes off, leaving a clearish/cloudy flesh that tastes like nothing you've ever had before. These are COMPLETELY addicting. I am told that sometimes you can find these in asian markets in the U.S. I found longans here, so who knows!

Anyway, hey there! Congratulations on making it to the weekend. :) I called in sick two days this week. I've been having some seriously funky health issues lately, and I was getting pretty darn worried. My parents both have digestive diseases (Mom has Crohn's disease, Dad has ulcerative colitis). I've been having some troubling symptoms, according to my mommy. After a trip to the doctor, it's been decided that I will be going off of dairy for a month. My doctor thinks that after a year of pretty much NO dairy, I may have developed lactose intolerance. I think I'd like to go with that one over the other possibilities! I'm instructed to keep away from it from a month and see if my symptoms go away. Me? No milk? No cheese?!

I've stocked up on a lil' soy milk and soy yogurt, and I'm going to have to become more inventive. It shall be an adventure!

In other news, I'm now the proud owner of a full-time fall college schedule. I have the summer to relax, and then things get crazy - full time work, full time school, part time play :)

Today, I embarrassed myself like never before.

I missed a mass email at my office yesterday since it was sick. It said that any sandals that "flip-flop" are now outlawed. Well, I din' know! I wore my cute white flip-flop heels today and flopped everywhere until I met the CEO at the door. We entered at the same time and walked beside each other.

I don't know what came over me.

I walked like a duck.

Seriously. I tried to stop the sound, and ended up walking like a duck. She looked over, gave me a little smile, and then turned towards the break room and went on her way.

What did I do? Slink back to my cubicle and let my cube-mates in on my debacle. Did it end there? No.

CEO was standing in the middle of the office as I walked towards the lunch room. I looked up, saw her, and fell right back into it. No thinking. Just doing. She looked at my supervisor, who was snickering at me, and asked "Is she okay?" I just hightailed it out. No explanation.

This is so unlike me. I have no explanation. None. But now she thinks I'm crazy.

Crazy Thoughts...

I'm havin' em! I haven't blogged much - my mind has been preoccupied. And this isn't gonna be a weight loss post. Or a China post.

I've been trying to pick apart the emotions and thoughts I've been having recently. I am not content where I am. Hubby and I are better than we've been in years, we have a nice new apartment, full of good things, and good jobs... and I'm getting restless.

My insides are being torn up and thrown around daily. What is it I'm looking for? What do I want out of life? Out of the next ten years? The next five?

I don't want to work at my office forever. I've tried to tell myself for years that I'll do whatever it takes to get Hubby through school. I've worked full time while he's slowly chipped away at it. But now, I'm feeling antsy.

I'm enrolling in classes again. How many? Depends on what financial aid I get. We're both bored already. We are young, healthy, and adventurous. We just don't belong here yet! Maybe after 5 more years... but for now, we're gonna crank that school out. After that...

Travel?
Peace Corps?
A big move?
jobs we actually love?

Who knows. But I've had enough of telling myself that what I've got is good enough. It just isn't for me anymore. Not when I know that if I put in some dedication and effort, I can actually find fulfillment and meaning in what I am doing with my life. Do I want to have a comfortable life making decent money, but doing something I can't stand? I don't do a good thing at work. I send people who are sick or poor a step closer to collections. I ruin people's financial lives for the sake of a little money.

I want to like my job. I want to make a difference. I want to believe in what I'm doing.

Thus begins a massive overhaul of my life.

China, Love. I miss you.

Long day.

Today was long. long. long. I'm plum tuckered out, and fighting a SERIOUS case of the munchies. I ate up all my strawberries, and all the leftover carrots. So I'm left with the things I'm avoiding, because they are NO GOOD for me. But I'm staying strong. Strong. Strong... strong? *bleh*

After work today, I picked up my kitty from the vet. Her poor little white paws are tinged red from her declawing surgery, and her belly is shaved, with a wound down the middle. How could I do that to my poor baby? But she'll be fine. She's konked out next to me.

After getting the kitten, I picked up my mom from school. Yes, I realize that sounds odd. But she's hit a rough patch. After losing her house a couple years ago, she had a huge flare up with her Crohn's disease. That has finally gotten better due to a great new treatment, but then she lost her job. She's now going to school for medical assisting, something she's always wanted to do. Last week, her car broke down. Living on unemployment and paying her Cobra so she can keep her prescriptions covered means there's no room for a new car in the budget. So for awhile, I'll be helping her out. That's what any daughter would do for her favorite mom, right? :)

Upon arriving home at 7:00, I found the hubby wandering outside - he was locked out! He's now sound asleep (he's working 2 jobs this summer, and one of them is 11:00pm - 3:00am) and I'm finally relaxing. I don't know what's up with me... I'm feelin' stressed!

I had some good eats today. An apple, strawberries, carrots, snap peas, rice and beans, a smoothie, a whole grain waffle, and a cup of half chocolate soymilk/half skim milk. The chocolate is just too much.

I checked my email today and found that I had a new one from a student. It almost brought me to tears...

Dear Amy
I very miss you every day. Today I am happy. I am going to Shanghai. What are you doing? I miss you are my teacher. I miss your pretty hair. I miss you every day.

Annie

How sweet is that? Coming from a 4th grader? She is so limited in her language, but her thoughts and feelings show through. I didn't expect to miss China as much as I do. Homesickness for the U.S was nothing compared to what I feel when I think about China. I cry at least every other day when I think about a student, or a friend, or a special place. I hope this gets easier.

You don't realize how crazy the U.S is until you've been away. I had no bills. Here, I HAVE to have a phone. I have to have gas, electric, a car, an apartment, student loans, etc. Everything revolves around money. Money I need to spend, money I don't have.... it puts so much stress on life. I miss being care free. I miss not worrying about "things" and simply taking in life. I need to find a balance here in Michigan. I need to find something... more.

I'm going to post some pics. I'm not going to post explanations... because I think they speak for themselves. If you take some time, and study them, I know you will find in them at least a little of what I find so special.

Happy wednesday.